Community Member Spotlight: Sheila Medina
A Castro girl born and raised in San Francisco, Sheila Medina went to Douglass Elementary (now the Harvey Milk Academy) and Mission High School. With the exception of thirteen years in the Sacramento area, she has always lived in San Francisco. “I can be myself here, in every way.”
Sheila comes from a working class Puerto Rican family. Both of her parents were born in Hawaii, part of the many Puerto Rican communities that were moved from their island to Hawaii to cut sugarcane in the early 1900’s. Sheila’s childhood was filled with Puerto Rican parties where she learned to salsa. “I love Latin music and used to dance a lot,” she said, “being Puerto Rican is part of my nature, the way that I communicate. I’m very friendly, I like to give big hugs.”
The youngest of five children, Sheila was often sick as a child weighing only 25 pounds at five years of age and was the subject of much attention from her parents. “My siblings were a little jealous because my parents were so protective of me, especially my mother. I almost died a couple of times, but when you’re little you’re not afraid of that.”
At 23, Sheila had her first lesbian relationship. “I was married at 19, had a son at 20, another at 21, and divorced at 23. But I didn’t fully claim myself as a lesbian until I was 30. I was busy raising two young boys, finishing up my degree in psychology and social work, and being a political activist.”
Even as a child, Sheila never thought there was anything wrong with gay men and lesbians. “My siblings and kids at school thought I was odd but my sons, who live with me (now) and help me take care of my 93-year-old mother, have always accepted me. They had some hard times in school as children, but they survived. My mother has also been okay with me being a lesbian. She’s more concerned with how a person behaves than their label.”
An activist in the lesbian feminist movement and the Puerto Rican Independence movement, Sheila experienced firsthand many of the difficulties and eventual splits within the women’s movement. “I was very much part of the lesbian movement as a woman of color. Many issues for us around poverty, housing, and justice simply weren’t addressed. During the 1970s, a lot of women of color were being sterilized yet most white women in the movement were much more concerned about abortion rights. I felt that too many of the movement saw women of color as ‘Other’. It never felt as if the lesbian community mixed with different races and class levels. Working-class women often came around to practical ideas much faster while middle-class women were too busy creating rules of behavior for lesbians. I didn’t like strict rules about how people should behave, I thought we should do whatever we wanted to do – not just do what the group said we ‘should’ do. You had to have sex in a certain way; you couldn’t bring boy children over the age of four to meetings or conferences; you could only use certain words or language. The rules were endless. It is so non-liberating to me to have to abide by all these rules.”
Post graduation, Sheila began working as a counselor at the Tenderloin Self-Help Center, Baker Place, and the Progress Foundation. “I spent many years counseling at halfway houses throughout the Bay Area. You burn out easily in those jobs, but I’d just switch to a different place and keep working.”
When she was 55, Sheila began working part-time in order to care for her (now) 93-year old mother and she has retired from counseling to do full-time caregiving. “My mother doesn’t believe anyone else can take care of her. Over the years, I took her to all her doctor appointments, just as she did for me when I was a child and we’ve lived near one another most of my life; me on Dolores and my mother in the Castro. It was a natural move.”
Sheila believes she was born to do mediumship and channeling. “It’s natural for me and such a part of my culture that I’ve found that women of color do relate to it more. White women might be supportive and interested but it’s kind of alien to them. The stuff I do is a little too out there, too extreme.”
To further her study in her skills, Sheila went to the Church of Religious Science in Oakland. She is primarily connected to the Golden Gate Spiritualist Church in San Francisco where—after one of the ministers had a dream about it—she was asked to do mediumship from the pulpit. In 2001, she became a medium at the church. She says she has seen the congregation change significantly from “predominately older and white members, to a more cultural mix.”
“We have,” she says, “many more people of color as well as younger people.”
Describing herself as a psychic medium, Sheila says, “I’m able to communicate with spirits on the other sides. I have my gatekeeper who lets the spirits come in and spirit guides who protect me. They usually communicate with me verbally, although I use my other senses too, sight, smell, and touch. First I identify the spirit, perhaps describe what they look like or describe what illness they may have had before they passed over. After that, I give the message that the spirit wants to convey to the individual. Of course, it’s much easier for me to connect with someone who is receptive and not putting up a barrier of negativity or skepticism.”
Connected to Openhouse through attendance at the memoir writing group, yoga, and second Sundays, Sheila regards her life as an older lesbian, as “fortunate. I can be myself and be fully what I am.” Being an older lesbian is an important part of my identity, but it’s not all of it. I’m a role model to younger people and have all kinds of friends, old, young, transgender. I don’t limit myself.”
Emerald O'Leary
(aka Mary Anderson)
she/her/hers
Emerald O'Leary (aka Mary Anderson) of San Francisco, formerly of Ireland and London, passed away December 19, 2016 at Laguna Honda Hospice after a more than five-year battle with metastatic cancer of the breast and bone. O'Leary was an accomplished artist, actor, poet, writer, and executive assistant during her 28 years in San Francisco.
